She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
