so explain again why im purple
no
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
