I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
