final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
