I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize