So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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