He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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