She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You took a bar mat shot.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
