Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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