Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this will be a night to untag.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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