Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
