so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
