I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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