please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
how drunk are you?
Several
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
