We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
