I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
