does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
