Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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