This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
