We named our party play list daddy issues
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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