Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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