I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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