Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
