i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
