So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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