Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
