im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
