There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize