i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
