just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
this will be a night to untag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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