so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
