alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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