you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
