P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
