I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He shit in the fireplace
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
