I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
