the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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