a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My brain says no but my pants say off.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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