I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
