i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
