there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
