We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
