It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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