Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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