Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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