My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
