we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize