either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
