You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
