I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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