Me too!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
