I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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