your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
