She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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