i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
