i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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