Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
