One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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