I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
