You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
