you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
