ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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