Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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