Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
